"I'll Not Be Far Away"

Here is the poem that I started at Four Peaks Elementary School but didn't finish it until I got to Thunder Mountain Middle School. I change and add to make it different for each class.

To the Graduates of 2009

Our time is coming to an end fast

I'm afraid I will not have time to finish

All that I want to do.

Always remember,

I'll not be far away.

Why can't we all stay together?

Why does this have to be good-bye?

We had such great times.

Always remember,

I'll not be far away.

We laughed at each other

We consoled each other

We shared some geat stories.

Is that all there is?

Always remember,

I'll not be far away.

When you go out in the world

never forget who you are

and where you came from

and how truly special you are inside.

Always remember,

I'll not be far away.

I fear that some of you will not be strong enough

To withstand the pressure of adolescence,

friends, and relationships.

Always remember,

I'll not be far away.

When you think you can't go on

and that no one understands you

when nothing seems to go right,

Always remember,

I'll not be far away.

When you leave here a part of my heart

Goes with each of you.

You take with you many experiences,

Many lessons,

and yes, many lectures.

Always remember,

I'll not be far away.

And when you think that you have nothing left

that you can't dig down deep any longer

and that the cards are stacked against you,

Always remember,

I'll not be far away.

So my hearts,

The lessons have not been from the textbooks

Or what's been written on the overhead,

They have been what you have become

Since the moment you walked through the door

And what you are yet to become in life.

You will always be near me

Just a holler away

I will always be here for you,

Because

I'll not be far away.

(Always remember you can be whatever you want to be with hard work and perseverance. You are amazing students and do not allow anyone to tell you different. Be risk takers and enjoy the life you have been given. Make me proud!)

I enjoy the job I do but do not enjoy all the other outside interference whether it be the district or some complaining parents. I don't try to tell them their jobs or how to parent their kids so I would appreciate that they let me do mine because I do it very well. In fact, I tell my students that I am "THE BEST MATH TEACHER" in the world. They always get a kick out of that.

Promoted to..........

Today my eldest grandson called me to tell me, "Grammy, it says 'Promoted to the Second Grade.'" He sounded so serious and wanted to tell me he got all A's. Zachary James Langenbach is the greatest big brother and big cousin in the world. I pray and hope that his second grade teacher will appreciate him for the individual he is. He is a teaser, has a playful nature, very smart, and one of the biggest hearts.

I know I am very partial because I am his grammy but I am also a teacher. My favorite students are the ones that are witty, silly, and have a personality. I know I sometimes have students that no matter how hard I try they still fail. It doesn't matter; it still hurts me because maybe I could have done something different for that student.

Yesterday instead of teaching one last day (8th graders final day of class) I talked to them for a few minutes and passed out a poem I had written for my sixth graders the last year I taught at Four Peaks Elementary School. I revised it a bit every year and give it to my 8th graders as a going away card from me. I will insert it (because it is how I feel when they leave) later. It is titled, "I'll Not be Far Away."

The last class I gave it to was my remedial 8th grade class. They have really tried but were behind where they should be. Some days were exhausting but they always did what I asked them to do. Well yesterday, I asked them, "Did you at least learn one concept since you walked in my room in the fall?" They shook their head yes. I told them that in my books they were successful. I watched their faces and they wanted so much to believe in something. I told them that if they really worked hard that one day it would click for them. I told them to never accept second best because they deserved only the best.

I gave them the poem at this time and told them that the middle school teacher that told me I would never learn math because I was in "dumbbell math" is still around. Everytime I see him in town (Florence, Az) I laugh silently in his face. I proved him wrong. I am the best math teacher in the world because I TEACH KIDS to have confidence in themselves first and then learn math. Well, what I thought would happen didn't. I told them they could write in their yearbooks and visit quietly. They didn't start right away. They actually read the poem. I pretended I wasn't looking and watched each one actually read it. Some started looking around at others and had tears. Then I heard, "One, two, three" and all at once they all stood up and clapped. I was so taken aback. As each one left that day they hugged me and thanked me for the poem. Whether they will remember this or not, yesterday is why I still teach. I love that feeling of reaching the part of their insecurities and make them believers even if for a moment. I do know that they will think of this moment and work just a bit harder. I also know that they will take this special moment and keep it locked away for when they need a boost.

We all need to think about how we talk to kids. Please don't take their spirit. Please don't label them. Please don't let them see how frustrated you are with them. Please don't say something you can never take back. Please don't hurt their soul. As teachers we have those kids during the school year longer than parents do at home. Please just love them for who they are.

I remember as a child being so scared wondering if I was going to be promoted. In second grade this old teacher on the last day of school would call your name and you came and got your report card. Every student would look at their card and sigh with relief that they had passed. The boy before me sat down and opened up his report card and it said that he failed. I never forgot how sad he was and how scared I was that maybe I had too. Mine said, "Promoted to the 3rd grade" and was relieved. I will still never forget how that little boy looked. Did that teacher try hard to help him or did he not want to learn?

Congratulations, Zachary James Langenbach, your grammy is so proud of you. Congratulations Zane and Henry for completing this year at The Little Prospector! I have the smartest grandsons. As Zach said many years ago on the day I picked him up from pre-school when it was my last day with a fist in the air, "We are on Bacation!" Priceless.

Friday will be the best day because I will be spending June and July with my boys.

Promoted to.........Grammy's house.

It Only Takes One Random Act of Kindness

This morning was the worst morning in a long time. I have this parent that thinks I am not doing enough for her sixth grader who was placed in Pre-Algebra by her elementary teacher. I tried to explain that she just isn't ready to for these concepts, but her mother insisted that she should try it. For three quarters she was barely surviving. I tried to prepare her mother for fourth quarter; this is the down fall of all pre-al students, rational numbers in equations. She couldn't send her to tutoring in the morning either of the two mornings I tutor or after school on Wednesdays plus she didn't like that I tutor others, not just her daughter

Two weeks ago this student was sick for three days but was well enough to go to San Diego with the band on Friday. Heavens to Betsy that I should expect her to get her work done for the time she missed. I let the mom know but as of Monday still hadn't received the work. I have stopped answering my phone because she has been calling and leaving messages and when I return her call she freaks out on me.

Well today, the phone rang at 6:30 in the morning in my room so thinking it was Tina letting me know she was shopping for our Coyote Howl and was going to be late, I answered it. I got sick to my stomach when I heard her voice and she started out very nice. I waited for her to get to the point of her calling, and she asked if her daughter had turned in her work to me. I told her no and daughter told her she did. I told her she didn't and then daughter said I was too busy to take it because we worked right up to bell, another lie. This made mom mad but not at her daughter but at me. I told her I would accept it but she wouldn't not get full credit. I told her I gave her another few days after it was due because she had been sick and then gone. Mom started yelling at me and told me I was a "hard ass" and that one of the other teachers allowed her to do my work first because she knew I was a hard ass. At that point I ended the conversation by telling her she needed to talk to my principal and that this conversation was over.

She called back twice but I didn't answer the phone. Tina came in and knew that this woman had called again so she waited just in case she called another time. I called the Dean and she was livid because she has been dealing with the calls I don't answer from her.

It is now in the principal's hands, and I am not allowed to take calls from her. He has instructed her not to call me and if she does then action will be taken. She has been abusive to me and the dean.

I hate to start my mornings this way. While I was on the phone with the dean a young lady came in with the biggest smile on her face. She left a present and mouthed to me to read the note first. I knew it was a joke gift by the look on her face. Little did she know that I needed to laugh that morning. You see her note was precious and her note said, "Everytime you feel blue open the box and take out the huge black clip and pinch myself and think of her." You see she had this big black clip and clipped her pinky and yelled. She said that she didn't think it would hurt. We had a good laugh at her expense that day. Well today I laugh because it was what I needed to put everything into perspective. Young ladies like her are the reason I teach. No matter what crummy parents do to upset me there will always be some student that makes my day better.

I don't think I can ever look at a clip again without thinking of her and what a big smile I will have on my face when I peek in the box. I think I am going to wear that big clip on my shirt tomorrow or use it to clip the papers together so I can see it every hour.

So now that I have vented and knowing that my school friends want to rip her tongue out of her throat I can move on.

Soon it will be the end of the year and I will be with my grandboys. How I look forward to this.

Dear Lord give me the strength that I will need for the next couple of weeks to treat each student with kindness and respect even though some of them have lousy parents. Dear Lord they have to live with each other so I thank you for allowing me to have the family that I have. I am glad I don't have to come home to either one of them. I do feel sorry for the young girl and hope she doesn't become a bully like her mother. Please pray for her!

Happy Ma Burfday

Today is Jenny's, Mouse Meat as her dad used to call her when she was little, birthday. What a day that was. I had just told Cy to go ahead and travel to the state track finals at Phoenix Christian High School's track field 34 years today, but on a Saturday. I told him that I probably wouldn't deliver until later that night.

Well about 12:oo p.m. my brother drove me to Pinal General Hospital in Florence to deliver. My sister Kathy and Mike Borquez (a brother-in-law yet to be) took Elizabeth to the carnival at the Cinco De Mayo festival while I delivered her baby sister, Jenny. Jenny was born around 3:00 p.m. and the last of her family to be born in the p.m. I thought all kids were born in the early hours of the morning. No, Jenny was to be the first. I told Dr. Clemans that the baby couldn't be born without her dad. He laughed his very loud laugh and said well it just might happen. Babies come when they are ready and not at the convenience of the parents.

Well, true to form Jenny was born with the imbilical cord wrap around her neck. Bill delivered her without me knowing it or letting on the stress, another little girl to our family. My mother was waiting to see me but with Elizabeth waiting at home had to get home. My sister, Ria was there to make sure her big sister was okay. Dr. Clemans was the best doctor in the world. Jenny was in such good hands. With a big smoothering kiss to Jenny and me he told me she was fine and was a beautiful girl.

I know I am the luckiest parent in the world. They are the best four daughters a mother could have. Today we celebrated Jenny's birthday 34th at Liz and Wayne's. Just not possible to have two daughthers that are in their 30's. I never look at them and think they are getting older. They will always be little in my mind. I love that my daughters can get together and enjoy being with each other. Even more lucky that their husbands enjoy being around each other and them. The are so much a product of their parents, two strong opinionated people. I am not sure any of the boys realized how strong my girls' minds were. You will not change their mind unless they are not sure of themselves (which happens not very often). Thank you boys for loving them inspite of their heritage (my family and Cy's are the same way).

I lift my glass of the finest, a glass of Oregon's finest (Willamette Valley Vineyard's Pinor Noir) in honor of Jen's birthday and another family party. We do know how to throw a party. Let us always remember where we originate and how much our extended family is a part of us. They are a part of all of us. I am proud to be a Padilla and a Henry.

Thank you Dear Lord for allowing me to witness your good Grace and Love and to continue to enjoy my kids and their kids. I only hope that You will also allow me the time I need to watch them grow like my parents did me and mine. You have always been behind my good fortune in life and continue to bless my family and myself. Today I sat in mass in honor of my mother. I will always miss her, but I know I have learned so much from her. I am blest that my dad continues on for our family. What an amazing father I have in my dad!

The Kitchen

I have always wondered why I found the kitchen in my mother's house so peaceful. I have always sat and talked to my mom if she wouldn't let me help out and visit with her. She would ask me to get things or chop this or that. It was where I always found her.

I remember when I had just came back from Dr. Clemans' office and opened the door. My mom was right there and said, "You're pregnant!" I hadn't told her I was going to the doctor's or that I was feeling bad. I know there were signs for her, but I never put those together. Elizabeth this was the day that we found out I was pregnant with you. Your Nana was so happy to know that I was going to be a Mom. I know how she felt when all of us told her that we were expecting. It is the proudest moment of a parent's life.

I remember spending so much time watching her cook or helping with whatever she wanted me to do. The kitchen in our house is where the masterpieces begin and friends gather.

As the school year ends, I am literally drained of being the "captain of the world" or school or work or whatever. I expect everyone to work as hard as I do and wonder why they don't. It is so frustrating to expect this and not happen. Why did so many people go into education? Why do we allow our kids to accept just mediocre teachers? Why do we accept mediocre adminstrators? Is it the easiest way to fill a position or do we really care about the kids in our community. So we come to the kitchen in our lives.

The kitchen is where we talk, cook, snack, and visit. I know I learned so much about life and family from my kitchen at home. Today after a real rough two weeks of school, I had my friends join me in my kitchen. We have room in the livingroom and dining table to sit and enjoy a beer or a glass of chilled wine, but we always end up at the kitchen counter. Jan, Tina, Sarah, and I needed to just vent over beer and wine and food. After much laughter and venting, well more laughter than venting, I think we solved the problems of the world and school. Well, we did solve our problems at school.

What we expect from our school is what most hard working teachers very rarely get! That is satisfaction! Our district sometimes settles for the easiest solution to our problems. Put a warm body in and everything will be okay. I can't fix this solution but my friends always put it in prospective. Laughter and food. My kitchen was the center of what we needed at the end of the two worst weeks of our year. Thank you for my posse that is always looking after me and making sure I don't lose it. It is the main reason I keep coming back everyday. I can teach anywhere, but I can't find friends as good as these ladies.

My kitchen will always be a place where kids gather, friends join, and family cook. Thank you Mom for without knowing it instilled the importance of a place to gather.